Sunday March 20

193.5

WOW! My high was 294 so I am down 100 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooo hooo go me! I feel sooooo much better.

So here is why I am writing today. I went to Blaine's first track meet of the season the other day. I saw someone there thay I hasn't seen me. She didn't recognize me. I didn't say anything to her because she was on the phone and to be honest I wasn't sure it was here. When she recognized me it was "WOW Andi is that you? I didn't recognize you. You look fantastic." My mom was behind me and after I was done chatting my mom said "and that is exactly why you had that surgery." I was speachless and if you know me that is hard to do. I can't even remember if I corrected her or not. The way a look is a bonus but in no way shape or form was it the reason or even in the top five reasons why I had my surgery. I really can't believe that the person that birthed me is that superfical to truly believe that my looks had anything to do with my decision. It just goes to show 2 things. One: She doesn't know me. Two: she has never been overweight.

#1 reason I had my surgery - PAIN! I was in constant pain. I was not lifting my right foot anymore without pain. The pain did not go away imediately but it was the reason for the surgery.
#2 - Mobility. I could not move. I could not touch the ground. I could not look behind me.
#3 - Stamina. I had NONE. I was doing less and less for myself. It took awhile to see this but I noticed that I wasn't doing much and it continued even after I lost a lot of weight. Bad habbits die hard. I would say "hey can you do this for me?" and realize that I could do it myself.
#4 - Blood pressure. I wanted off of it and I am.
#5 - Depression.

Looking better is a bonus but not a reason and to be honest. I don't feel like I look that great. Want to see my belly or my boobs or my under arm giggle wiggle or my chin gobble wobble? They are all GROSS! I don't regret the surgery and I will get all that nasty stuff taken care of eventually but for now. I am enjoying feeling better.

I did 20 tricep bench dips today and I did the well! I can do so much more than I could 7 months ago. I feel awesome and that is what I want to remember.

My mom also keeps telling me about her neighbors daughter and how she had this surgery and how she gained more weight back then what she had weighed before! Uggggg! This surgery was a TOOL! It is not the end all for my weightloss. I am in charge of that but why do I have to keep telling her that. I have already said it. Quit being so fucking negative Patience.

OK I think I have gotten this off of my chest. That is what this blog is for me. It is my place to say what ever I want.

Don't know if I have talked about my surgery but I had my external hemeroids and my Polyp removed. It is the most damn painful thing that I have ever done. Pain pills have been my best friend. I walked a mile today and that kind of bugged the "area". Oh well. It is getting better. I don't have butt cancer and I have the best best friend in the whole wide world. Gayle was with me at my check up. She had something else to do just like everyone else did but she truly felt that being with me was more important. She is truly the best BF that anyone could ever hope for. Thanks My Gayle.

Till next time. Work hard and do it for you! You are worth it.

Andi