193.5
WOW! My high was 294 so I am down 100 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooo hooo go me! I feel sooooo much better.
So here is why I am writing today. I went to Blaine's first track meet of the season the other day. I saw someone there thay I hasn't seen me. She didn't recognize me. I didn't say anything to her because she was on the phone and to be honest I wasn't sure it was here. When she recognized me it was "WOW Andi is that you? I didn't recognize you. You look fantastic." My mom was behind me and after I was done chatting my mom said "and that is exactly why you had that surgery." I was speachless and if you know me that is hard to do. I can't even remember if I corrected her or not. The way a look is a bonus but in no way shape or form was it the reason or even in the top five reasons why I had my surgery. I really can't believe that the person that birthed me is that superfical to truly believe that my looks had anything to do with my decision. It just goes to show 2 things. One: She doesn't know me. Two: she has never been overweight.
#1 reason I had my surgery - PAIN! I was in constant pain. I was not lifting my right foot anymore without pain. The pain did not go away imediately but it was the reason for the surgery.
#2 - Mobility. I could not move. I could not touch the ground. I could not look behind me.
#3 - Stamina. I had NONE. I was doing less and less for myself. It took awhile to see this but I noticed that I wasn't doing much and it continued even after I lost a lot of weight. Bad habbits die hard. I would say "hey can you do this for me?" and realize that I could do it myself.
#4 - Blood pressure. I wanted off of it and I am.
#5 - Depression.
Looking better is a bonus but not a reason and to be honest. I don't feel like I look that great. Want to see my belly or my boobs or my under arm giggle wiggle or my chin gobble wobble? They are all GROSS! I don't regret the surgery and I will get all that nasty stuff taken care of eventually but for now. I am enjoying feeling better.
I did 20 tricep bench dips today and I did the well! I can do so much more than I could 7 months ago. I feel awesome and that is what I want to remember.
My mom also keeps telling me about her neighbors daughter and how she had this surgery and how she gained more weight back then what she had weighed before! Uggggg! This surgery was a TOOL! It is not the end all for my weightloss. I am in charge of that but why do I have to keep telling her that. I have already said it. Quit being so fucking negative Patience.
OK I think I have gotten this off of my chest. That is what this blog is for me. It is my place to say what ever I want.
Don't know if I have talked about my surgery but I had my external hemeroids and my Polyp removed. It is the most damn painful thing that I have ever done. Pain pills have been my best friend. I walked a mile today and that kind of bugged the "area". Oh well. It is getting better. I don't have butt cancer and I have the best best friend in the whole wide world. Gayle was with me at my check up. She had something else to do just like everyone else did but she truly felt that being with me was more important. She is truly the best BF that anyone could ever hope for. Thanks My Gayle.
Till next time. Work hard and do it for you! You are worth it.
Andi
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Sunday March 13
195.6
I had hemeroid polyp removal surgery on Wednesday. I am very frustrated. I am on strong pain killers and can't go down on the meds without significant change in pain. I don't poop normal so I blew a stictch and it hurts. My family SUCKS and nursing and not only do they no longer want to take care of me they want me back taking care of them. I am near tears. I don't know when to cut back my pain meds. I can't stand the huffing everytime I ask for help. I am just pissed.
I had hemeroid polyp removal surgery on Wednesday. I am very frustrated. I am on strong pain killers and can't go down on the meds without significant change in pain. I don't poop normal so I blew a stictch and it hurts. My family SUCKS and nursing and not only do they no longer want to take care of me they want me back taking care of them. I am near tears. I don't know when to cut back my pain meds. I can't stand the huffing everytime I ask for help. I am just pissed.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Monday March 7
198.2
My weight is not moving because I drink! I am stopping during Lent and I really just need to focus on that right now but need really to just stop. I have no self control. I am doing well not eating too much food at once as long as I am not drinking then all control goes out the door.
My hip or a muscle in my butt to be more specific is really bothering me but not as bad as before I started walking like a runway model. lol. I have decided that I am as stiff as a board. I go to Zumba and I am really stiff. I feel like I am really moving then I look in the mirror and I look like a 2x4.
So tomorrow I start my colon cleanse and Wednesday I go in at 6:00 am for my colonoscopy and at 11:00 I have a polyp and external possibly internal hemeroidectomy. It is going to hurt like hell.
So I am down. I got all dressed to go to the gym. I even had my shoes on and I didn't go. Pathetic! I am not having a period but I am still crazy. Who knows what I am going to be like when I stop drinking. God will help me but UG.
OK I just had to get this off my chest.
My weight is not moving because I drink! I am stopping during Lent and I really just need to focus on that right now but need really to just stop. I have no self control. I am doing well not eating too much food at once as long as I am not drinking then all control goes out the door.
My hip or a muscle in my butt to be more specific is really bothering me but not as bad as before I started walking like a runway model. lol. I have decided that I am as stiff as a board. I go to Zumba and I am really stiff. I feel like I am really moving then I look in the mirror and I look like a 2x4.
So tomorrow I start my colon cleanse and Wednesday I go in at 6:00 am for my colonoscopy and at 11:00 I have a polyp and external possibly internal hemeroidectomy. It is going to hurt like hell.
So I am down. I got all dressed to go to the gym. I even had my shoes on and I didn't go. Pathetic! I am not having a period but I am still crazy. Who knows what I am going to be like when I stop drinking. God will help me but UG.
OK I just had to get this off my chest.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Feb. 24
198.5 Woooooot Woooooot Hahoooooooy!
Yesterday I ate home made breadsticks and like 1/4 stick of butter. It was yummy. I felt bad. Thanks to all of you who made me feel better. Today I made broccolli with BUTTER olive oil and garlic and a little parmessan. Better than breadsticks and yummy.
My goal weight is 170. I bought a swim suit top yesterday. I bought a large but need an xl.
My "problem" is a little better but I am still going to get surgery. Exercising is a chore right now. I really wish I enjoyed it more.
Yesterday I ate home made breadsticks and like 1/4 stick of butter. It was yummy. I felt bad. Thanks to all of you who made me feel better. Today I made broccolli with BUTTER olive oil and garlic and a little parmessan. Better than breadsticks and yummy.
My goal weight is 170. I bought a swim suit top yesterday. I bought a large but need an xl.
My "problem" is a little better but I am still going to get surgery. Exercising is a chore right now. I really wish I enjoyed it more.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Feb. 15
200.8
I am not eating because it hurts to poop. I went to the doctor (really the PA). He said it was a hemeroid but after looking at it he said it was an external polyp. He lanced it anyway even though he said it wouldn't help. Ya like I want a needle and knife put there when it won't help! Helloooooo. So this was on Friday and he said that they were going to refer me to a surgeon. Well today I called my surgeon (who did my colonoscopy and hemeroid surgery) because I am not waiting in pain anymore. OMG. I am not sleeping or eating much. I can't think about anything but the pain. When I see someone all I want to say is that my butt hurts! This isn't a way to live. I hope I don't have cancer. Not sure I can cope with that. So Thursday at 8:45 I am seeing the surgeon. I hope he can do something that will get rid of the pain right away. I can't stand this much longer.
I am not eating because it hurts to poop. I went to the doctor (really the PA). He said it was a hemeroid but after looking at it he said it was an external polyp. He lanced it anyway even though he said it wouldn't help. Ya like I want a needle and knife put there when it won't help! Helloooooo. So this was on Friday and he said that they were going to refer me to a surgeon. Well today I called my surgeon (who did my colonoscopy and hemeroid surgery) because I am not waiting in pain anymore. OMG. I am not sleeping or eating much. I can't think about anything but the pain. When I see someone all I want to say is that my butt hurts! This isn't a way to live. I hope I don't have cancer. Not sure I can cope with that. So Thursday at 8:45 I am seeing the surgeon. I hope he can do something that will get rid of the pain right away. I can't stand this much longer.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Thursday Feb. 10
202.5
Don't read this if you don't like TMI. Cuz this is definately TMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am soooo damn frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My asshole hurts sooooooooooooooooo bad that I think I am going to DIE. I have a hemeroid! A terribly painful hemeroid!. This is my blog where I can write anything so I am writing about my awful awful pain.
I need to find a new Doctor. I think I may have it narrowed down. It is funny listening to everyones opinions because lots of peole love and hate the same docs. I also have my hip/leg problem that is better but not gone and I have to get a colonoscopy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am kind of down today. I hate being in this much pain. I am using ointment. I have tried pushing him back where he belongs. I am ready to cut him out. Not realy. I have already had one hemeroid surgery. UG.
Ok I was doing really well with my roids until this surgery. Fiber doesn' absorb as well and I drink all of that protien so I have been pushing a lot more. I need to go to a doctor. I don't always have such a hard time just when I am between doctors.
OK. I feel better.
Thanks!
Don't read this if you don't like TMI. Cuz this is definately TMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am soooo damn frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My asshole hurts sooooooooooooooooo bad that I think I am going to DIE. I have a hemeroid! A terribly painful hemeroid!. This is my blog where I can write anything so I am writing about my awful awful pain.
I need to find a new Doctor. I think I may have it narrowed down. It is funny listening to everyones opinions because lots of peole love and hate the same docs. I also have my hip/leg problem that is better but not gone and I have to get a colonoscopy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am kind of down today. I hate being in this much pain. I am using ointment. I have tried pushing him back where he belongs. I am ready to cut him out. Not realy. I have already had one hemeroid surgery. UG.
Ok I was doing really well with my roids until this surgery. Fiber doesn' absorb as well and I drink all of that protien so I have been pushing a lot more. I need to go to a doctor. I don't always have such a hard time just when I am between doctors.
OK. I feel better.
Thanks!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Feb. 7 2011
202.9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow! I am down over 90lbs from when I first met with the surgeon for the first time. Today I put on a sweater that my Aunt Pat knitted for me when I was in college! How exciting. Eating is going ok. I could be doing better. I am doing best at not eating too much but I am not doing as well at eating the right things. I try but still get cravings.
PAIN! I have been in pain for so long and I am really affraid to look into it because I don't want a new hip. So I talk a lot about it because I hurt all the time. Well my friend Lori said the word gait (not sur how to spell it) to me one day. Meaning how I walk. That made me think about how I walk a lot sooooo. I mentioned my gait to Nikki one day and she said to walk with my hips. Like heel to toe. Like a runway model. Well you just wouldn't believe what a difference that made. I am not only practising my model walk I am also practising my Hula and belly dancing hip moves. I wasn't using my hip. The pain has gone away by about 50%. The level is the same when it is there but I can't get it to go away quite a bit. That is AMAZING!
Gotta get moving for the day. Talk to ya soon.
Andi
Wow! I am down over 90lbs from when I first met with the surgeon for the first time. Today I put on a sweater that my Aunt Pat knitted for me when I was in college! How exciting. Eating is going ok. I could be doing better. I am doing best at not eating too much but I am not doing as well at eating the right things. I try but still get cravings.
PAIN! I have been in pain for so long and I am really affraid to look into it because I don't want a new hip. So I talk a lot about it because I hurt all the time. Well my friend Lori said the word gait (not sur how to spell it) to me one day. Meaning how I walk. That made me think about how I walk a lot sooooo. I mentioned my gait to Nikki one day and she said to walk with my hips. Like heel to toe. Like a runway model. Well you just wouldn't believe what a difference that made. I am not only practising my model walk I am also practising my Hula and belly dancing hip moves. I wasn't using my hip. The pain has gone away by about 50%. The level is the same when it is there but I can't get it to go away quite a bit. That is AMAZING!
Gotta get moving for the day. Talk to ya soon.
Andi
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