283.1 I think.
I was just watching Oprah. I am interested in a book she featured. Women, Food, and God author Geneen Roth helps you conquer your food issues once and for all. So I am getting this book because I need to get this under control before my surgery. I have to go get Blaine. More later.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Tues. May 11
283.1
I'm back on track. I had protien this morning and cantelope. Blaine has track today. I am excited to see him throw. Eli is going home today. He is having a tough day. I still havn't had a damn period. Is it menopause or well I know I'm not pregnant. I have back pain, I'm bithcy. I'm crampy. UG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How long will I feel like this. Oh ya and last night Lucas made carmel corn. He thought that I thought that he couldn't do it because I did not want him to make it. I didn't want him to make it because I LOVE carmel corn and I sholdn't eat it. But eat it I did. It was delicious! He did a great job. He learned this in cooking. I like cooking! Eli and I cooked a turkey Saturday and he was talking to the turkey. He said "turkey, don't be sad." I have it on video. Hopefully I will have more to talk about tomorrow.
I'm back on track. I had protien this morning and cantelope. Blaine has track today. I am excited to see him throw. Eli is going home today. He is having a tough day. I still havn't had a damn period. Is it menopause or well I know I'm not pregnant. I have back pain, I'm bithcy. I'm crampy. UG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How long will I feel like this. Oh ya and last night Lucas made carmel corn. He thought that I thought that he couldn't do it because I did not want him to make it. I didn't want him to make it because I LOVE carmel corn and I sholdn't eat it. But eat it I did. It was delicious! He did a great job. He learned this in cooking. I like cooking! Eli and I cooked a turkey Saturday and he was talking to the turkey. He said "turkey, don't be sad." I have it on video. Hopefully I will have more to talk about tomorrow.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Monday May 10
283.9
Had WAY too much fun this weekend. I am writing this so I don't stop all together. This is a hard, when things get tough but I'm back on. I got an mp3 player for mothers day and I am listening to the hypnosis lessons and they are making me feel good. For Mother's Day we went to church, the horse races and to Amy's on the Bay for dinner. Eli is here today. I need to get in the shower. I have been drinking. I am going to stop. I just wish I could drink without drinking too much but I can't so I can't drink. Mark is upstairs so I need to go take a shower while someone is watching Eli. More later.
Had WAY too much fun this weekend. I am writing this so I don't stop all together. This is a hard, when things get tough but I'm back on. I got an mp3 player for mothers day and I am listening to the hypnosis lessons and they are making me feel good. For Mother's Day we went to church, the horse races and to Amy's on the Bay for dinner. Eli is here today. I need to get in the shower. I have been drinking. I am going to stop. I just wish I could drink without drinking too much but I can't so I can't drink. Mark is upstairs so I need to go take a shower while someone is watching Eli. More later.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Friday May 7
279.8
I am very frustrated today. My damn period hasn't started and I am still crazy.
The weightloss cd is kinda bugging me becuase it says to eat anything I want just eat half. Half of What? I am try to no over eat and I am try to still make good food choices. I have eaten WAY too much fried food today but I have tried to eat half. I had hash browns for breakfast. I don't cut my egg in half but I only put half of the browns that I cooked on the plate. I also added onions and yellow peppers to it. Diana took me to Osaka for lunch and I had the bento box. It was very big and I ate it all except the rice. There were only about 5 pieces of spicey chicken and the sushi was a raw fish sushi not calif. roll that has mayo in it. I ate all of the tempura and loved it! Diana almost died choking on fat. For dinner I had french fries (shared a lot with Skipper), 3/4 of a corn dog and lettuce with blue cheese. Skipper is going to get fat eating the food I don't. I can't leave it on my plate.
Back to the crazies. Diana and I were coming back from Silverdale. Lucas started texting me asking if he could go to a movie tonight with friends. I asked who. He hasn't done this before. I knew a cople of kids but didn't think he ever did anything with them. I asked how he was getting there and he said me. I don't let my kids go bythemselves to meet friends. They have to go with at least one friend so I said that the one who lives close to us should ride with us of visa versa. Lucas texted and he said that I would drive there and they would pick up. Further communication revealed that the tickets were selling out fast and they were going to buy theirs and we should get Lucas'. So we go to Blaine's school, get him and head of to the theater. We get there and the friend was right in front of us and I say something to the dad about what time I should pick the son up and the dad said that he was going. That threw me cuz I Lucas had made arrangements. So I was a bit irritated so then I just asked if Lucas could ride with them. But I felt like a dumb ass because I didn't sound like I knew what I was talking about. So they leave and we get up to the counter and we said something and I said that Lucas was driving me crazy and he goes "she's driving me crazy!" Well that's all I needed. We left, no ticket, no movie. I know I have no patience right now but embarrassing me in public is something that we talk about. So we happened to park right next to the friend and the dad goes so do you want to bring Lucas over and I had to tell him that Lucas wasn't going. I wish this damn period would start and finish cuz I'm not going to survive much more of this.
On a good note. I feel more productive still. I washed Nathan's bedding today and got it in the dryer. Nathan and I cleaned out our nasty garbage can yesterday and I watered my garden. Today I bought some dog shears and cut skipper. Poor Skipper. I suck at shaving. I had to stop to go get Blaine so he has one long ear and one shave ear.I feel fat today and my back hurts. What does that mean?
OK thanks for listening.
I am very frustrated today. My damn period hasn't started and I am still crazy.
The weightloss cd is kinda bugging me becuase it says to eat anything I want just eat half. Half of What? I am try to no over eat and I am try to still make good food choices. I have eaten WAY too much fried food today but I have tried to eat half. I had hash browns for breakfast. I don't cut my egg in half but I only put half of the browns that I cooked on the plate. I also added onions and yellow peppers to it. Diana took me to Osaka for lunch and I had the bento box. It was very big and I ate it all except the rice. There were only about 5 pieces of spicey chicken and the sushi was a raw fish sushi not calif. roll that has mayo in it. I ate all of the tempura and loved it! Diana almost died choking on fat. For dinner I had french fries (shared a lot with Skipper), 3/4 of a corn dog and lettuce with blue cheese. Skipper is going to get fat eating the food I don't. I can't leave it on my plate.
Back to the crazies. Diana and I were coming back from Silverdale. Lucas started texting me asking if he could go to a movie tonight with friends. I asked who. He hasn't done this before. I knew a cople of kids but didn't think he ever did anything with them. I asked how he was getting there and he said me. I don't let my kids go bythemselves to meet friends. They have to go with at least one friend so I said that the one who lives close to us should ride with us of visa versa. Lucas texted and he said that I would drive there and they would pick up. Further communication revealed that the tickets were selling out fast and they were going to buy theirs and we should get Lucas'. So we go to Blaine's school, get him and head of to the theater. We get there and the friend was right in front of us and I say something to the dad about what time I should pick the son up and the dad said that he was going. That threw me cuz I Lucas had made arrangements. So I was a bit irritated so then I just asked if Lucas could ride with them. But I felt like a dumb ass because I didn't sound like I knew what I was talking about. So they leave and we get up to the counter and we said something and I said that Lucas was driving me crazy and he goes "she's driving me crazy!" Well that's all I needed. We left, no ticket, no movie. I know I have no patience right now but embarrassing me in public is something that we talk about. So we happened to park right next to the friend and the dad goes so do you want to bring Lucas over and I had to tell him that Lucas wasn't going. I wish this damn period would start and finish cuz I'm not going to survive much more of this.
On a good note. I feel more productive still. I washed Nathan's bedding today and got it in the dryer. Nathan and I cleaned out our nasty garbage can yesterday and I watered my garden. Today I bought some dog shears and cut skipper. Poor Skipper. I suck at shaving. I had to stop to go get Blaine so he has one long ear and one shave ear.I feel fat today and my back hurts. What does that mean?
OK thanks for listening.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Wed. May 5 Feliz Cinco De Mayo
278.9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm on my way to 275. Still listening to the CDs and I think they are working. They are making me mad right now because the DVD player I am playing them on in my room right now is skipping around in the middle of my hypnosis. I don't know if it's the player or the cd. I am ripping all the CDs to my computer just in case it's the cds and that way I will have a back up.
I think the suggestions are working. I am modifying things a bit because the dude says to eat what ever you want but just eat half. I have already modified my eating, like protien powder or I already eat the six inch sub instead of the 12 inch. I am not ready to eat 3 inches. that sounds funny.
Blaine's track meet went well for Blaine. Well I think it went well. He threw the discus 118 feet. He didn't like it but it was 18 feet further than anyone else. He was second in shot put. I think he will be better in shot next year when he trains more with weights. He thinks he placed in the long jump too. We ate Subway. I do well at Subway. I get the black forest ham with lots of veggies, no chesse and some vinegar. I could get mustard on it but I don't. I get it toasted.
I ate popcorn last night. My popcorn is full of FAT but I love it. I ate half. My salt battle is a battle right now. Sweets, I am still doing well with. I did have some cheap chocolate the other night. No period still. Ug. I have not knowing what's going on in my body. All of my CDs are ripped and now Nathan needs his chocolate chip pancake. He tried to make them Monday and from the garbage can it looked good but he said it was raw inside. I forget to teach him the things I take for granted.
I'm on my way to 275. Still listening to the CDs and I think they are working. They are making me mad right now because the DVD player I am playing them on in my room right now is skipping around in the middle of my hypnosis. I don't know if it's the player or the cd. I am ripping all the CDs to my computer just in case it's the cds and that way I will have a back up.
I think the suggestions are working. I am modifying things a bit because the dude says to eat what ever you want but just eat half. I have already modified my eating, like protien powder or I already eat the six inch sub instead of the 12 inch. I am not ready to eat 3 inches. that sounds funny.
Blaine's track meet went well for Blaine. Well I think it went well. He threw the discus 118 feet. He didn't like it but it was 18 feet further than anyone else. He was second in shot put. I think he will be better in shot next year when he trains more with weights. He thinks he placed in the long jump too. We ate Subway. I do well at Subway. I get the black forest ham with lots of veggies, no chesse and some vinegar. I could get mustard on it but I don't. I get it toasted.
I ate popcorn last night. My popcorn is full of FAT but I love it. I ate half. My salt battle is a battle right now. Sweets, I am still doing well with. I did have some cheap chocolate the other night. No period still. Ug. I have not knowing what's going on in my body. All of my CDs are ripped and now Nathan needs his chocolate chip pancake. He tried to make them Monday and from the garbage can it looked good but he said it was raw inside. I forget to teach him the things I take for granted.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Monday April 3
280.9
I LOVE the hypnosis program. I slept like a ROCK last night. I wake up like I normally do but I did my business and went straight back to sleep. I did not worry about all the dumb things that usually keep me up and Mark's snoring didn't keep me up. I am not quaking like a duck yet so it's all good.
Eating half? I have been trying to eat half but I had already switched to healthier food and right now I am not willing to switch back and if I ate half of what I am eating now, I would be too hungry. For example: I drink a protien shake in the morning. I follow the directions and I have one scoop and 6 oz. water. I am not cutting that in half. If I do decide to have a breakfast sandwich I will try eating half. He says that if you don't eat half then he puts a suggestion in that you will feel full and bloated. I am really trying not to eat too much and I don't feel like I am stuffing myself. Diana and I went to Mossimo for lunch today and I had a seafood salad. It was soooo good. Salmon, halibut, shrimp, clams, muscles over a bed of spinach. It wasn't very big and I don't think there was very much fat in it. I ate it all!!! I think I am making good choices.
I have 3 CDs in the package I bought. A weightloss CD, an activity, engery and exercise cd and a stress cd. I am trying to listen to the weightloss cd before bed and at wake up time. When I feel a little dragging I listen to one of the others. I think this is good for me because I have done some meditation and yoga and a little energy healing so I am familiar with relaxation techniques and I am not worried about hidden suggestions.
I LOVE the hypnosis program. I slept like a ROCK last night. I wake up like I normally do but I did my business and went straight back to sleep. I did not worry about all the dumb things that usually keep me up and Mark's snoring didn't keep me up. I am not quaking like a duck yet so it's all good.
Eating half? I have been trying to eat half but I had already switched to healthier food and right now I am not willing to switch back and if I ate half of what I am eating now, I would be too hungry. For example: I drink a protien shake in the morning. I follow the directions and I have one scoop and 6 oz. water. I am not cutting that in half. If I do decide to have a breakfast sandwich I will try eating half. He says that if you don't eat half then he puts a suggestion in that you will feel full and bloated. I am really trying not to eat too much and I don't feel like I am stuffing myself. Diana and I went to Mossimo for lunch today and I had a seafood salad. It was soooo good. Salmon, halibut, shrimp, clams, muscles over a bed of spinach. It wasn't very big and I don't think there was very much fat in it. I ate it all!!! I think I am making good choices.
I have 3 CDs in the package I bought. A weightloss CD, an activity, engery and exercise cd and a stress cd. I am trying to listen to the weightloss cd before bed and at wake up time. When I feel a little dragging I listen to one of the others. I think this is good for me because I have done some meditation and yoga and a little energy healing so I am familiar with relaxation techniques and I am not worried about hidden suggestions.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Sunday May 2
282.4
I listened to my hypnosis CD today. I love hypnosis. Without sleeping you laydown, close your eyes, listen to someone who is trying to help you make your life better and you come out feeling way better than you did when you woke up after an entire nights sleep. I did the weightloss one first then I listened to the energy and productivity one and when I got up I folded the whole load of whites that Mark had on the bed. Whites are the worst! They have all the socks in them. We bought a 1/4 of a cow and I have to defrost the freezer before it's ready. Before I defrost the freezer and have to go through the two small freezers to make room for the stuff int he big frezzer. I think I may start that today!
Lucas had to games yesterday. The second game was the first game that they had that they weren't 10 runned. It's hard to watch. They lose such heart when they lose so badly. The age is suppose to be 13 and 14 year olds but the two Eastern teams got a waiver to allow 15 year olds on their teams. So these little unpubertied boys are playing against these monsters! They hit one out of the park and we can barely get one out of the infield. lol OK enough of that. My point about the games was that I ate a burger. The Sablans were cooking otherwise I probably wouldn't have bothered but they can cook! I ordered a single play. That is a bacon cheese burger with fries and soda. I gave my bacon to Nathan, 95% of my fries to Lucas and my soda.
The premis for the hypnosis CD is to not deprive yourself. The suggestion that he gives is to eat what you want but eat half. That cracks me up because that is what the bariatric surgeon said to do to take off that 30lbs I need to before surgery. Wouldn't it be funny if the hypnosis works and I dont' need the surgery. He says to have the sweets and salts that you want but eat half but he also says that he puts in suggestions that you won't want the sweets and salts. He puts in that you will crave healthy alternatives.
It's 10:30 am. The house is way too quiet. Lucas is still in bed. Nathan is at work and Blaine stayed the night at a friends. I don't know where Mark is.
See ya soon.
I listened to my hypnosis CD today. I love hypnosis. Without sleeping you laydown, close your eyes, listen to someone who is trying to help you make your life better and you come out feeling way better than you did when you woke up after an entire nights sleep. I did the weightloss one first then I listened to the energy and productivity one and when I got up I folded the whole load of whites that Mark had on the bed. Whites are the worst! They have all the socks in them. We bought a 1/4 of a cow and I have to defrost the freezer before it's ready. Before I defrost the freezer and have to go through the two small freezers to make room for the stuff int he big frezzer. I think I may start that today!
Lucas had to games yesterday. The second game was the first game that they had that they weren't 10 runned. It's hard to watch. They lose such heart when they lose so badly. The age is suppose to be 13 and 14 year olds but the two Eastern teams got a waiver to allow 15 year olds on their teams. So these little unpubertied boys are playing against these monsters! They hit one out of the park and we can barely get one out of the infield. lol OK enough of that. My point about the games was that I ate a burger. The Sablans were cooking otherwise I probably wouldn't have bothered but they can cook! I ordered a single play. That is a bacon cheese burger with fries and soda. I gave my bacon to Nathan, 95% of my fries to Lucas and my soda.
The premis for the hypnosis CD is to not deprive yourself. The suggestion that he gives is to eat what you want but eat half. That cracks me up because that is what the bariatric surgeon said to do to take off that 30lbs I need to before surgery. Wouldn't it be funny if the hypnosis works and I dont' need the surgery. He says to have the sweets and salts that you want but eat half but he also says that he puts in suggestions that you won't want the sweets and salts. He puts in that you will crave healthy alternatives.
It's 10:30 am. The house is way too quiet. Lucas is still in bed. Nathan is at work and Blaine stayed the night at a friends. I don't know where Mark is.
See ya soon.
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