Monday May 2

187.8!!!!! WTF

My greatest fear is gaining my weight back! The surgery only helps you get it off. You have to make changes. Right now my eating and drinking isn't going very well. And I have a period like once every 3 months so tha doesn't help when I gain a pound or two and can't figure out if it is PMS or not.

I have been watching 2 TV shows that are helping. One is Ruby. It is on Style and it is the weightloss journey of a gal that was up to like 600 lbs. It goes through all her mental issues. It really helps me to think about why I eat. I am a food addict. I think about food all the time. The other show is on OWN and is called Addicted to food. It is about a 60 day all inclusive intreatment program for food addicts. You can be an over eater, anorexic or bullemic. They really get to the heart of these peoples problems. They us the 12 step method and I have found this show very helpful. I looked into the program. It is in Texas. It is $700 per day! So I am on my own. I will watch very carefully. lol I am doing lots of self talk. I am telling myself that I need to focus on me and my problems and not get into other peoples problems (I have done this my whole life). Getting into other peoples problems is an excuse to avoid my own issues. That has not always been apparent to me. This show helps me see that. I have issues about my up bringing too and I am self talking that.

Well I just wanted to share this with ya'll. If anyone watches these shows and wants to talk about stuff I would love someone to chat with. Here or on FB.

Andi