Thurs. April 29

281.6

There is a raging BITCH inside my body today! I wish I could crawl out and fly up in a tree and just watch for a day or two. Can you imagine that? Me just watching and not talking?!!! I'd fall out of the tree. I am so PMS and I never have any idea of when it will end or start (my period that is). I am really wondering worried about what menopause is going to be like.

Lucas' game go rained out last night but we had to drive all the way there to find out. Then Mark and I went to Blaine's honor society presentation and Blaine would not sit with us. How mad I was about it was a clue to me being PMS because I was really really mad.

Did I say yesterday that I ate 5 pieces of fish and 3 frenchfries yesterday at lunch? I had a double protien and coffee drink before we left for Lucas' game. When we got home from Blaine's thingy I wanted desert so I to some yams and made them into patties and browned them in some butter. Not great but better than a bowl of icecream! I as still craving after that and instead of an apple and almonds for my snack I had pistachios!!!!!!! I love them oh so much but they are so so salty.

I woke up at 1:00 am and was laying there thinking of things I didn't want to be thinking about. At 2:00 am Eli woke up to pee. 2:30 is the last time I remember looking at the clock and my little darling Eli crawled into bed with us at 5:30. He is now napping while I type in peace. We started our morning eating and by the way our last night eating with apples. I use my slicer and he eats the inside the hands the peel and some good meat over to me telling me he's done. After that this morning I had protien mixed with water and then my bff coffee. Now I am snacking on an apple and some almonds. I could so easily go way off the deep end right now. But I really want to get to 275 in the next week and I have to try hard to get there.

I don't feel depressed or sad or anything I just feel bitchy, like mean bitchy. I need to go somewhere for a few days but then I wouldn't have anyone to yell at. I seem to have this crazy patience with Eli so I guess it's good that he is hear.

OK Enough bitching. Ta ta.